Life can be a sand pit, you fall and you can’t get back up, you stop fighting and let the pit take you farther down until you can no longer see the light and I was fine with that, I was over the plague of death over my life and I wanted nothing but to be free.
Free of fear, free of addictions, porn, sex, self-harm, and many others but one more I will mention is self-sabotage- Self-sabotage is a rough one for me and a big one. One that I did not even notice patterns of until it was pointed out to me and all I could say was “Oh” and just nod my head.
It’s hard to admit that you were the one who was in your own way. I didn’t fully comprehend the love that God has for me, and I never will, it forces me to tears every time I think about the wonderful things he has done for me through my pain and wrongdoings.
It makes it worth all the bad days because there is always a purpose to the pain and he never lets a hurt go unnoticed, I can’t say that this will make sense to everyone but when you try to end your life and you hold something as precious as life and death in your hand.
It changes you, it changes your DNA, it changes you from head to toe, and I felt Jesus pull me into his embrace, pulling me back out of that pit of despair. The darkness started to fall away as he pulled me closer.
Mums the word 